I have ended up in a bit of a quagmire. I’ve tried turbo dating as many blokes as possible I've met on the the internet in the name of casting the net wider. Some of them just facilitated funny stories, a couple were great but not right for me, one got too close and had to be warded off and one provided occasional polite company but didn’t expect much more….Or so I thought until he sent me a combination of lavish/thoughtful valentine gifts that wreaked of effort! Behind the scenes there’s been an old friend who I agreed to have a casual fling with (hence referred to as ‘CF') and I predictably got more emotionally entangled than planned. There’s also been a tall handsome stranger who had a fleeting presence but left a lasting impression.
As it stands today the decks are clear apart from David (the gift sender) who has now actually made an official play for me it seems. I had thought CF’s jealousy meant he cared more than he was letting on so I removed my frosty façade for a second and told him I wouldn’t see anyone else for a while to give ‘us’ a chance….well lets just say I drew a blank on that one! I have lost momentum with the dating site as I just got tired of juggling! I just thought David would probably fade into oblivion but it appears not. Lovely, good looking and intelligent guy but a bit nervy around women and not nearly animal enough for me – hence our ‘friendship’ never gaining momentum. The valentines card accompanying the gifts simply said ‘Have dinner with me next week’.
Now there are two obvious schools of thought; 1. Thank him graciously for the flowers and pressie’s but gently ditch him now as you know the chemistry isn’t there and he’s obviously got in a bit too deep. 2. It’s only dinner, he’d be terribly disappointed if I didn’t go after all his effort. I know option 1 is the right thing to do. So I phone him….and go for option 2. When I tell 'Roomy' she just rolls her eyes. David has booked a well renowned fish restaurant near his place, I’m sure it will be a lovely evening and then he’s off on holiday anyway so a bit of space will start the tail off that needs to happen.
He lives a fair drive from me though, he brings this up on the phone and says he could change the restaurant to somewhere nearer or if I wish to stay over he’ll make up the spare room. Now I’m no idiot and this guy is such a gent it’s untrue so when he says ‘spare room’ he means it. I’ll take up the offer, I really want to try this restaurant and it’s his gig after all. I tell him I’ll get there early and bring the bottle of champagne he sent me and we can catch up. As always, it’s nice to see him and he makes me laugh so I relax when we crack the bottle open and start chinwagging.
The restaurant is fab, he recommends a couple of dishes he thinks I’ll like and picks a lovely wine based upon my choice and we chatter away about allsorts. I must admit I’m feeling pretty tipsy when my second glass of wine is poured as we'd already shared that bottle of bubbly earlier but I’m having fun and everything is pretty light hearted so it doesn’t matter. Until I’m looking down boning my fish and I hear words I can’t quite believe;
Him “You’d make a wonderful mother”
Me “What? I mean, pardon?”
Him “I was just saying, I think you’d make a wonderful mother”
I think I dropped my fish bone on the floor. This guy is blatantly looking for a wife, immediately. Luckily I think the wine smoothed over the glitch in conversation and the evening continues. We get a cab back to his place and both fairly giggly decide to play Twister. I’m the sort of person who throws caution to the wind in the name of curiosity fairly often, so I decide to seduce him and see what he’s really made of. There were so many stumbling blocks along the way I should have just given up! He was quite resistant and blatantly nervous but after I’d managed to engineer a snog on the Twister mat and made it fairly obvious what my game was he asks if I want to go to the bedroom. When we get down the hall I attempt to throw myself on the bed like a temptress but he walks out of the room.
Me “Where are you going?”
Him “To brush my teeth”
Me “WHAT??”
Him “To brush my teeth, you do want me to brush my teeth before bed don’t you?”
OMG! Am I supposed to be making his hot milk and getting his pyjama’s out of their teddy case? Why I didn’t call it quits there I’ve got no idea, I could have easily rolled over and feigned sleep. Needless to say, I didn’t. The experience was tiresome at best. Ouch, sorry mate. In the morning, I awoke to the sound of him whistling in the kitchen. Yep, whistling. He was making breakfast and trotting around the kitchen merrily. I ate politely and skiddadled a.s.a.p.
Such a shame, he’s the loveliest guy. He’d always be there for you with his big brown eyes; loyal, faithful and compliant. A bit like a chocolate Labrador really. Marriage material maybe, but not for me!
Dani
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
Blog 12 – Just because you've forgotten them doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten you!
I have to hold my hands up, there is no progress with CF. Nothing has changed and I must have been fooling myself when I thought he was still ‘thinking about’ what had been said. I just don’t think he knows what he wants and I certainly want more than that!
I’m half chatting to a few guys on the dating site again but not with much gusto. There is soon more drama when I start chatting to a local guy on instant messenger after exchanging a few e-mails. He asks for my number and suggests meeting up at one our local drinking holes to see if we recognise each other as he seems to socialise in all the same places I do. Pretty late that night he text me about arrangements but I was too tired to think straight and reply and ended up falling asleep soon after. I could not believe what I woke to on my phone in the morning!!! He had text me a photo of a girl holding her top up…no bra. I’m flummoxed. The next text says; ‘My ex, what do you think?. I text him back saying not to bother contacting me, I thought it was pretty disrespectful to me and her sending that message considering I doubt her permission was sought and we hadn’t even met yet. I mean, well done mate! No idea why you’re single…Idiot!
I’m recounting this story to my mate Alex at work the next day, he’s been on the dating site too but we hadn’t spoken much about it and he coyly admitted he’d met someone last week. He said her profile picture was great, she looked really pretty and sounded really sweet. She talked about yoga and fitness on her profile, said she liked to look after herself and she was looking forward to meeting someone ‘normal’. When they actually met Alex realised she’d pulled a classic trick; only adding photo’s from the waist up. He walked into some pub to meet her and she was already there sat down. After an hour and two drinks she got up to go to the ladies revealing the most eeeenormous hips and ass that were totally out of proportion with the rest of her body. Now that’s just not playing fair and if I met a guy who had edited out his beer belly then I’d be pretty peeved. Now it gets worse, despite Alex being shocked and not entirely pleased with the size of said lady’s derriere he says he’ll meet her again to see how things go. She texts the day before asking him to bring his cheque book as she’s lost hers and really needs to pay for something. Right. Normal? Maybe in your world luv!
It’s a minefield out there and it appears my little friend with the bad judgement on the appropriateness of texts has not got the message. He texts me again, this time with a picture of his erect penis and a ‘Sorry, will this make it better?’ message below. NO IT WILL NOT! I tell him firmly where to stick it and tell him not to contact me ever again or I’ll report him to the police. I do get a nice reminder that there are sweet people in this world when David texts saying sorry he’s been so busy but he’s been following my favourite TV programme and hopes I’m enjoying it too. But I get a shock on Valentines day….
As a single person it’s really a day to be ignored and I had done just that, I hadn’t even thought about it when I woke up. I got to work and thought nothing of it when the DHL man rang the buzzer, he delivers stuff all the time. The box was for me however, and it was a BIG box. In it were a number of carefully wrapped items and a very pretty card which left no traditional mystery as it was signed ‘Be my valentine, All my love, David, x’. Okaaay. In the box were a number of very carefully chosen items personal to myself; my favourite champagne, my favourite chocolates, the cereal I have always eaten before I go to bed, my favourite board game that I don’t have my own copy of, a punnet of my favourite fruit and a single red rose. I’m quite speechless and halfway between exceptionally impressed and freaked out as his listening skills. In fact, I’m incredulous. I havn’t even told him where I work but I must have mentioned my company name in conversation. The guy is either a genius or had a Dictaphone under the table at all our dates. I text him with profuse thanks and feel terribly guilty I didn’t even send a card.
I spend the rest of the day still reeling about this mornings package, half chuckling and half freaked out! The buzzer soon wakes me up at four o’clock though, it’s an enormous bunch of flowers. Very rare ones, that only grow in certain places in the far east that are hugely expensive to get over here. Only someone who had listened un-naturally carefully would have found the exact flowers or remembered that I had seen them growing in their natural habitat while travelling. The card just says ‘Have dinner with me next week, David x’.
So what do I make of this one??
I’m half chatting to a few guys on the dating site again but not with much gusto. There is soon more drama when I start chatting to a local guy on instant messenger after exchanging a few e-mails. He asks for my number and suggests meeting up at one our local drinking holes to see if we recognise each other as he seems to socialise in all the same places I do. Pretty late that night he text me about arrangements but I was too tired to think straight and reply and ended up falling asleep soon after. I could not believe what I woke to on my phone in the morning!!! He had text me a photo of a girl holding her top up…no bra. I’m flummoxed. The next text says; ‘My ex, what do you think?. I text him back saying not to bother contacting me, I thought it was pretty disrespectful to me and her sending that message considering I doubt her permission was sought and we hadn’t even met yet. I mean, well done mate! No idea why you’re single…Idiot!
I’m recounting this story to my mate Alex at work the next day, he’s been on the dating site too but we hadn’t spoken much about it and he coyly admitted he’d met someone last week. He said her profile picture was great, she looked really pretty and sounded really sweet. She talked about yoga and fitness on her profile, said she liked to look after herself and she was looking forward to meeting someone ‘normal’. When they actually met Alex realised she’d pulled a classic trick; only adding photo’s from the waist up. He walked into some pub to meet her and she was already there sat down. After an hour and two drinks she got up to go to the ladies revealing the most eeeenormous hips and ass that were totally out of proportion with the rest of her body. Now that’s just not playing fair and if I met a guy who had edited out his beer belly then I’d be pretty peeved. Now it gets worse, despite Alex being shocked and not entirely pleased with the size of said lady’s derriere he says he’ll meet her again to see how things go. She texts the day before asking him to bring his cheque book as she’s lost hers and really needs to pay for something. Right. Normal? Maybe in your world luv!
It’s a minefield out there and it appears my little friend with the bad judgement on the appropriateness of texts has not got the message. He texts me again, this time with a picture of his erect penis and a ‘Sorry, will this make it better?’ message below. NO IT WILL NOT! I tell him firmly where to stick it and tell him not to contact me ever again or I’ll report him to the police. I do get a nice reminder that there are sweet people in this world when David texts saying sorry he’s been so busy but he’s been following my favourite TV programme and hopes I’m enjoying it too. But I get a shock on Valentines day….
As a single person it’s really a day to be ignored and I had done just that, I hadn’t even thought about it when I woke up. I got to work and thought nothing of it when the DHL man rang the buzzer, he delivers stuff all the time. The box was for me however, and it was a BIG box. In it were a number of carefully wrapped items and a very pretty card which left no traditional mystery as it was signed ‘Be my valentine, All my love, David, x’. Okaaay. In the box were a number of very carefully chosen items personal to myself; my favourite champagne, my favourite chocolates, the cereal I have always eaten before I go to bed, my favourite board game that I don’t have my own copy of, a punnet of my favourite fruit and a single red rose. I’m quite speechless and halfway between exceptionally impressed and freaked out as his listening skills. In fact, I’m incredulous. I havn’t even told him where I work but I must have mentioned my company name in conversation. The guy is either a genius or had a Dictaphone under the table at all our dates. I text him with profuse thanks and feel terribly guilty I didn’t even send a card.
I spend the rest of the day still reeling about this mornings package, half chuckling and half freaked out! The buzzer soon wakes me up at four o’clock though, it’s an enormous bunch of flowers. Very rare ones, that only grow in certain places in the far east that are hugely expensive to get over here. Only someone who had listened un-naturally carefully would have found the exact flowers or remembered that I had seen them growing in their natural habitat while travelling. The card just says ‘Have dinner with me next week, David x’.
So what do I make of this one??
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
Blog 11 - The beat goes on....
So….I have de-cluttered my life on the man front. I’m not going to agree to meet anyone else from the dating site (for now) and I’m going to give CF (casual fling) a chance to be more than just that. Don’t get me wrong….he didn’t exactly sweep in on a white horse but I hadn’t been hanging around like a damsel either. But now I am sat here bored wondering how you initiate the change in a casual arrangement when the other person clearly isn’t sure how to go about it either. It’s Saturday, I have no plans for my weekend….the possibilities are endless! But by 11am I am flummoxed and thinking the possibilities have ended.
CF text me early this morning which woke me with a smile, I had promised myself a run and he said to run round to his and he’d make me breakfast. So I did, he thought it hilarious when I turned up on his doorstep panting and actually thought I was joking when I’d agreed. We had bacon sarnies and watched ‘Saturday Kitchen’ chatting and mucking around…and then, after a bit, I just didn’t know if he wanted me to stay or go. He didn’t ask if I fancied doing anything in the afternoon or what the rest of my weekend held. It just fizzled. So I’m back home and wondering what to do with myself.
Maybe this is an important lesson, I didn’t think men ruled my world or filled my every minute because maybe there were so many suspects buzzing around in bits I couldn’t see what they amounted to cumulatively. So….Roomy is working. L is working. J is working (why do my mates have to have jobs that take up Saturdays?!) Mrs T and F are at balloon filled childrens parties. The weather is crap, I’ve had my run….I guess it’s a lone shopping day for me then!
I pile in the door with bags of gorgeous clothes that I can’t afford about 6 o'clock to find Roomy tucking into a bottle of wine and very pleased to see me as it seems every sole in her phonebook has also gone AWOL and she’s been having pangs about her ex-boyfriend. She admits he stayed over when I was out the other night and she’s not sure what it’s all about. Ooooh dear, well I definitely owe her a listening ear but my phone interrupts, OMG it’s the handsome giant! His deep voice reduces me to a fit of giggles and I’m blatantly swaying all over the place like a love struck teenager and playing with my hair while Roomy looks at me in mock disgust at my pathetic transformation.
Sunday lunch he said, what harm can that possibly be??? Roomy is looking at me with her ‘you can’t fool me face’. I know nothing is going to come of it. In fact, I sort of have this feeling he’s actually seeing someone else but he hasn’t told me and I haven’t asked. I know that sounds like I’m relinquishing responsibility to the sisterhood but surely it’s his call to tell me? Roomy is still looking at me and now it’s in a ‘don’t ask me to absolve you’ kind of way. And then she asks me what happened to my plan to clear the decks and make way for an opportunity with CF. Good question, but I feel a little lost. CF is obviously still thinking about what I said last week and he hasn’t acted on it….so the resolution doesn’t have to start just yet ;)
Sunday lunch was good. Real good. The handsome giant has this way of making you feel like you’re the only woman in the world. We went out for a drive around the pretty villages near him and stopped for a roast at a lovely pub. We were there for hours chatting and laughing. I think if anyone had seen us they’d have thought he was utterly besotted with me. But I know he’s not, he’s just utterly besotted with any woman who happens to be in front of him at the time. I returned home from Sunday lunch on Monday morning. I wasn’t looking great when I turned up at work! I have to say I made the most of it, it’s not just about sex either but affection too. He’s very tactile and I haven’t really allowed anyone to get close to me in a long time. I could with him, because I knew I wouldn’t see him again. I knew that when I kissed him goodbye on Monday morning I could savour every moment of the previous night and not worry about getting attached because there wouldn’t ever be a next time.
I was right, he called me the following week to say he thought a lot of me but he had also been seeing another girl. Although it wasn’t anything official he knew it had got to the stage where he had to make a choice and he said he couldn’t give her up. I told him to go with it and that was great. I actually know in my heart he was being genuine and not economical with the truth for a change. I felt a bit sad, but also glad to have had a few snatched moments with someone so dynamic. I think it’s meant to be like this and Mr & Mrs T still don’t know I went against their recommendations….I feel bad but they just don’t need to know.
So, it’s just me…CF and the waiting game again then.
CF text me early this morning which woke me with a smile, I had promised myself a run and he said to run round to his and he’d make me breakfast. So I did, he thought it hilarious when I turned up on his doorstep panting and actually thought I was joking when I’d agreed. We had bacon sarnies and watched ‘Saturday Kitchen’ chatting and mucking around…and then, after a bit, I just didn’t know if he wanted me to stay or go. He didn’t ask if I fancied doing anything in the afternoon or what the rest of my weekend held. It just fizzled. So I’m back home and wondering what to do with myself.
Maybe this is an important lesson, I didn’t think men ruled my world or filled my every minute because maybe there were so many suspects buzzing around in bits I couldn’t see what they amounted to cumulatively. So….Roomy is working. L is working. J is working (why do my mates have to have jobs that take up Saturdays?!) Mrs T and F are at balloon filled childrens parties. The weather is crap, I’ve had my run….I guess it’s a lone shopping day for me then!
I pile in the door with bags of gorgeous clothes that I can’t afford about 6 o'clock to find Roomy tucking into a bottle of wine and very pleased to see me as it seems every sole in her phonebook has also gone AWOL and she’s been having pangs about her ex-boyfriend. She admits he stayed over when I was out the other night and she’s not sure what it’s all about. Ooooh dear, well I definitely owe her a listening ear but my phone interrupts, OMG it’s the handsome giant! His deep voice reduces me to a fit of giggles and I’m blatantly swaying all over the place like a love struck teenager and playing with my hair while Roomy looks at me in mock disgust at my pathetic transformation.
Sunday lunch he said, what harm can that possibly be??? Roomy is looking at me with her ‘you can’t fool me face’. I know nothing is going to come of it. In fact, I sort of have this feeling he’s actually seeing someone else but he hasn’t told me and I haven’t asked. I know that sounds like I’m relinquishing responsibility to the sisterhood but surely it’s his call to tell me? Roomy is still looking at me and now it’s in a ‘don’t ask me to absolve you’ kind of way. And then she asks me what happened to my plan to clear the decks and make way for an opportunity with CF. Good question, but I feel a little lost. CF is obviously still thinking about what I said last week and he hasn’t acted on it….so the resolution doesn’t have to start just yet ;)
Sunday lunch was good. Real good. The handsome giant has this way of making you feel like you’re the only woman in the world. We went out for a drive around the pretty villages near him and stopped for a roast at a lovely pub. We were there for hours chatting and laughing. I think if anyone had seen us they’d have thought he was utterly besotted with me. But I know he’s not, he’s just utterly besotted with any woman who happens to be in front of him at the time. I returned home from Sunday lunch on Monday morning. I wasn’t looking great when I turned up at work! I have to say I made the most of it, it’s not just about sex either but affection too. He’s very tactile and I haven’t really allowed anyone to get close to me in a long time. I could with him, because I knew I wouldn’t see him again. I knew that when I kissed him goodbye on Monday morning I could savour every moment of the previous night and not worry about getting attached because there wouldn’t ever be a next time.
I was right, he called me the following week to say he thought a lot of me but he had also been seeing another girl. Although it wasn’t anything official he knew it had got to the stage where he had to make a choice and he said he couldn’t give her up. I told him to go with it and that was great. I actually know in my heart he was being genuine and not economical with the truth for a change. I felt a bit sad, but also glad to have had a few snatched moments with someone so dynamic. I think it’s meant to be like this and Mr & Mrs T still don’t know I went against their recommendations….I feel bad but they just don’t need to know.
So, it’s just me…CF and the waiting game again then.
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