Blog 3 - From Nil-Point to Nutter!

Luckily he’s not wearing a vest and geek glasses but there is definitely something a bit ‘Mr Muscle’ about him. He doesn’t have a very ‘manly’ walk and his hair looks suspiciously like his mothers spittle was involved in the styling process. His voice seems a bit weak and high pitched in reality and I immediately remember a sales tip I was told years ago; your voice sounds an octave lower on the phone so always pitch up to sound cheerful.

Right there in the bar while saying polite hello’s I have hit the harsh realisation that photographs and telephone voice do not maketh a man. It’s about the mannerisms, confidence and swagger which can only truly be seen in the flesh. It’s crystal clear that David does not have the gravitas I had hoped for but we got on so well on the phone I’m hoping this first impression will fade. We sit down and chat for about an hour but to be honest I couldn’t hear much, the bar wasn’t that noisy but he just wasn’t adjusting his voice accordingly. Now, I can make conversation with a blind mute if need be and it’s my job to be able to lead a conversation with poor communicators but I don’t want to have to do this on a date!

I can’t work it out really, well I can but I’m disappointed so I’m trying not to listen to myself. He’s clearly a really genuine guy, he’s intelligent and has some lovely physical features but when you put the whole package together his lack of experience with women is quite apparent and his presence just generally lacks impact. When we said our goodbye’s he said he’d call me the following day and we left it at that. I saw him drive off (at least he has a nice car) and went home to spill the beans to my flat mate (or Roomie as we called each other since we moved in together). She said to give it another chance and not to underestimate the power that nerves have over some people even if they don’t affect me.

Fair play to the guy – he wasn’t deluded and he knew that sparks didn’t exactly fly but he called….and he asked how I thought the date went. It’s not like me but I didn’t have the heart to really tell him how freakin’ terrible I thought it was so I just explained that it was a bit strange meeting up after having already built up a persona in my head. I wasn’t mistaken, he is a sharp cookie – he may be lacking many things but his honesty in assessing the situation was admirable. He said he thought it was a terrible date, really strained and didn’t reflect how well we’d been getting on by phone. At least he got it off his chest! We ended up having a good laugh about it, putting it all down to nerves and arranged to have dinner and a couple of beers to lubricate any future tete a tete’s.

I’m not the sort of person to put all my eggs in one basket however, meanwhile I’ve still been scouring the profiles and checking out any new talent coming onto the market. I’ve been enjoying cheeky e-mail chats with a few of the respondents from my initial e-mail campaign. Some had blatantly got their Mum’s to write their profiles because they couldn’t string a sentence together when left to their own devices but I have arranged a few more dates as a result of better communications, none of them fill me with as much excitement as when I initially found David’s profile but I’ve realised that’s irrelevant - you can’t tell the ripeness of a peach by a photo after all!

My ‘Roomie’ has also registered on the same dating site, it’s been hilarious because it’s like our new favourite hobby. We’ve spent hours sat on the sofa on our laptops comparing profiles of guys we like the look of. We’ve also been cyber hit on by lots of the same men which is funny. There was one guy whose profile was a bit sparse and his picture wasn’t terribly clear but we had both exchanged a few messages with him as he liked all the same bands as we do.

Roomie arranged a date with this guy in one of our locals and I might have done the same depending on the outcome, we’ve never had jealousy issues between us you see. Apparently he had the conversational skills of a mute but the one thing he wanted to know was if she was in contact with anyone else on the site. Roomie was flummoxed by this and obviously said yes, that’s the point surely! He thought that was bad form and that she shouldn’t be shopping around anymore. Just to clarify; this is five minutes into a bad date with someone she’s met on the internet and he’s demanding loyalty. Well Roomie obviously didn’t want it to go any further anyway as it was clear matey was harbouring issues but she was incensed! She said that was ridiculous and he was a hypocrite anyway as he’d been messaging me. She told him my user name and what he’d said to me just to rub salt in the wound but he denied it and ran out of the pub.

That’s nutter no.1 off the list then!