Blog 1 - Finding a Man on the Information Superhighway

So here I am at 26 years old hitting the hard realisation that adult dating has entirely eluded me. I’ve been in back to back relationships from my teenage years up until recently, I’ve had a number of months out there partying and testing my new found freedom but if truth be told I really would like to meet a partner in crime at some point and I am reliably informed that dating is the preferred route. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’ve got plenty of time but I want to find out what’s out there now so I don’t start s****ing myself I’m going to be a permanent spinster in 5 years time.

When I was tucked up and blinkered with a boyfriend the internet dating revolution completely passed me by but a funny ad on the TV immediately makes me think I fancy a crack at it. I don’t lack confidence as a person and I seem to have chatted up every good looking bloke in every bar in this city and been disappointed to find that they haven’t got a brain cell to rub together between them! I’m also shocked to find that they all seem to be about 21 (or less) so either all my age appropriate matches are elsewhere on a Saturday night or I must be subconsciously trying to pull the demographic I would have 5 years ago.

Internet dating seems like an obvious (not to mention efficient) way of casting the net wider and if initial communications are via e-mail I can at least check out their level of literacy before wasting any time on someone who isn’t going to stimulate me upstairs. I’m not being harsh, I’m just realistic and don’t want to risk dying of boredom while giving some unlikely candidate a chance. The way I see it, if I’m out there looking and considering this route to market then surely some of my male counterparts are doing exactly the same. So I crack on and sign up to the advertised site.

The individual dating profiles seem akin to the sort of details estate agents put together to sell a house; ‘22 years old with great features and a fantastic front elevation….’ You catch my drift? It’s obvious that you’ve got to sell yourself on here and I’ve been in sales for years so I attack the task in hand with a competitive air acknowledging I need to pitch this at just the right level to sort the wheat from the chaff.

I want to get a few photo’s on my profile, I’m an averagely pretty girl but I do have a crowd pulling smile and no fat ass so that’s a good start. Apparently the weighty girls (as Calvin Harris would say) have a habit of limiting their photo’s to head and shoulder shots which should be banned under the Sale of Goods Act in my book. I don’t have any recent pics of myself and I’m obviously going to do my hair and put something decent on but I’m not going to prance in front of the lens like a show pony. My mate kindly snaps away at me sat on a bench in the local park while I grin with gay abandon and pretend it’s entirely spontaneous and not completely staged. I’m quite pleased when we upload them and my mate insists they are a good likeness.

I write a witty intro about myself seasoned with a good dose of feisty personality and a dash of my inappropriate sense of humour, they need to know what they’re getting into! I ensure there is a distinct lack of cheese (you wouldn’t believe what sap some people have written on their profiles) and I tick boxes saying I like live music, animals and outdoor pursuits. My final hook is “Message me, I’m famous….I was in the local advertiser in 1986 for winning the primary school ‘Best Dressed Potato’ competition”.

I go live and the messages come flooding in, mainly wanting clarification about the exact nature of the potato competition but it’s a start. I set to checking out the quality of my prospective suitors……..with a reasonable list of parameters of course.